Hey, y’all! Welcome back to Sweet Sorghum Living–a place where you can find everything from gluten-free food ideas to DIY projects. When I started SSL, I had no overall goal. I just wanted to share with people my love for home renovation, junking, and creating. I also wanted to share my struggles with living with diabetes and Celiac. Since I began this journey, moving and starting over has become a conversation topic. Trying to find myself…at my age…in a new city…is constantly on my mind and in my prayers. It is easy preaching, but hard living to say “Let go, and let God.” or “In God’s time, it will happen.” Believe me. I know the best pep talks. I give them to myself daily, but there is one thing that I cannot seem to pep myself up about…it has been a struggle…personal battle (self versus self) since day one…being a housewife.
I really don’t mean to complain about being a housewife because I know lots of women who are housewives…and they love it…they embrace it…they feel like it is their calling. I know lots of women who would love to be housewives…to stay at home with their kids. I have tired to convince myself that I am not just a housewife, but a domestic engineer…CEO of Hathorn, Inc.
You have to understand that having a title and making money is expected. No one wants to brag on their daughter who is a housewife. Or at least that is how I feel. No husband wants to tell his work associates that his wife doesn’t work. It makes her sound lazy, unskilled, or like a trophy…a gold digger. Or at least that is how I feel. Filling out medical forms is stressful for me. “Employer”…I have no employer, but I promise that I am not worthless or lazy. I am not living off the government. I promise I have been employed in the past. Please don’t make me fill in that blank….
No, I am not a CEO of a business…and my math skills would never allow me to be an engineer. I am a housewife. Partly by choice. Partly because of circumstances. And those medical forms are just too nosy and judgmental.
Honestly, I am not whining. Don’t get me wrong. I am a pretty good whiner. Not that I should be bragging about my excellent whining abilities…but this post is far from feeling sorry for myself or complaining about life giving me lemons–which life hasn’t given me lemons, and even if it had…I have no desire to make lemonade…however, I do enjoy lemon slices in my iced tea. I digress. Back to the topic at hand…why I feel guilty about being a housewife.
My guilt has reached an all new high…I guess it is really more of a low…because guilt really shouldn’t be high on anyone’s list. Before I explain why I feel guilty, let me preface with this–the hubby has no problem with my being a housewife. He loves my being home with the opportunities that being at home offers: working on my art, writing my blog, managing our daughter’s busy blog schedule and demands, and being able to do other things that I love. He truly is the best, and he is super supportive of my creativity.
Please understand that I love my little family. And most days I do not mind being at home doing all the housewife duties–from laundry to errands. But there are a few days where I feel like I am throwing away my talents…that I am not being true to myself…that I am taking more out than I am giving in…yes, it is about the money. I am not contributing to the bank account. I feel like I am a bum…living off the kindness of the hubby. I feel guilty because I do not have a real paycheck. My writing and art aren’t exactly bringing in the big bucks haha…but perhaps one day *wink…dreaming big*
Yes, my guilt is all about the money. I am not lazy. My house is usually beyond magazine quality. I take very good care of my family. But no matter how hard I work at home, no matter how many extra duties I have, no matter how many words I write, or creations I create…I still feel like I have accomplished nothing…because there is no pay stub to prove the value of my labor.
At the end of the day, I know that this is something that I have to wrap my head around. I have to come to accept that my value is not based on dollars and cents. It will take time. And I am okay with that. Because hopefully through my struggle, I can help someone who is also struggling. And together, we can help each other *smile*
Thanks for sitting a spell with me today as I chatted about why I feel guilty about being a woman without a real paycheck. If you are a housewife or have been a housewife and have any advice for me and other housewives, please comment. I know I could use a little advice *smile*