I Am That Parent

Mattie loves having her picture taken.

Mattie loves having her picture taken.

Hey, y’all! Welcome to Sweet Sorghum Living–a place to sit a spell with a good, hot cup of coffee and enjoy good conversation about everything from gluten-free snacks to DIY projects. Today on the blog, I wanted to share my fur babies with y’all–my distractions *wink* When people ask me how many children I have, I tell them one child and three fur babies–known as “The Girls”…bless the hubby’s heart…he is the only male in the house!

Ziva (Giant Schnauzer on the couch) and Mattie (Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier) were exhausted after their shopping trip to Pet Smart.

Ziva (Giant Schnauzer on the couch) and Mattie (Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier) were exhausted after their shopping trip to Pet Smart. Head over to the Instagram to see a video from their Pet Smart adventure.

The hubby and I are parents to an only child. And because of this, we have been asked a million times over the years when we were planning on having another child. Our response has always been the same–“We feel very blessed to have one healthy and happy child.” This, however, is not a satisfactory answer to the majority of those that have interrogated us about the baby topic. Bless, it all started when Abby was a toddler…and she is almost 19 now.

And they sleep...so sweetly.

And they sleep. Yes, I allow my dogs on the sofa…I just put quilts on the cushions…it is a win-win.

I don’t normally get into the real reasons why Abby is an only child. But let’s just say that my pregnancy was not an easy one…Abby was born about 5 weeks early…and she weighed a whopping 8 lbs and 13 oz. I was miserable and unhealthy the entire time I carried her. She is a miracle…it is a miracle I survived carrying her.

We have all seen Steel Magnolias.

I am not a selfish person–I try very hard not to put my needs above those of my little family’s. Abby needed a mom more than a sibling. And if people want to judge me for making that call–so be it. But don’t call me selfish because I didn’t want to risk my life and health for what others deem “normal” or “traditional”….

The hubby and I agreed that we were happy with one child–this decision was made with lots of prayer–and it was made between God, the hubby, and myself.

Look at the sweet face!

Look at the sweet face! Ziva is the needy one–but she keeps us entertained *smile*

It really boils my blood…actually raises my blood sugar…when women judge other women about having babies. Seriously? It is each woman’s choice on how many children she does and does not want to have or adopt. Yes, I have been told way more times that I want to think about–that the hubby and I should consider adoption since having a baby wasn’t an option. I think adoption is fabulous. But we did not want to adopt. We discussed it. We prayed about it. And believe it or not, we were happy being a family of three.

Lucy, who is almost 18 years old, has been with Abby almost her entire life. Abby dressed Lucy up, strolled her around, and had many conversations with Lucy.

Lucy, who is almost 18 years old, has been with Abby almost her entire life. Abby dressed Lucy up, strolled her around, and had many conversations with Lucy. And to this day, Abby makes time for Lucy–where they sit and chat about life.

I think that we as women are too quick to snap at other women about their decisions. For instance, I did not breastfeed *gasp…call the firing squad* and once again, I was called “selfish” because I was not doing what they considered best for my baby. No one ever asked me why…nope. I was just accused of being a bad mother because I wasn’t in the breastfeeding club. Did I ever try to explain to the judge and jurors why? No, because they had already made up their minds about me and my choice.

For the record, I have nothing against breastfeeding mothers. I admire and respect them. But at the same time, breastfeeding mothers shouldn’t have anything against moms who use formula + bottles. Love and respect for all *smile*

Mattie checking on Lucy after Lucy had a coughing spell.

Mattie checking on Lucy after Lucy had a coughing spell. About four years ago, the vet told us that Lucy would be lucky to live another six months. She proved him wrong…really wrong.

I hope y’all don’t think I am whining about my life and the well-meaning people that thought I should have had more children. I just wanted to share why my fur babies are so special and to let other women know that it is their decision on how many children to have or not to have…to let other families that do not fit the “norm” or “traditional” family model know that it is okay. Better to be happy than normal *wink*

Ziva is very proud of her new coat.

Ziva is very proud of her new coat. Notice the toy stuffing on the floor *smile* We got Ziva about three years ago for Abby because she really wanted her own puppy, and we needed a “guard” dog. I am not sure if Ziva has ever spent the night outside. She prefers beds, blankets, and fluffy pillows…but she is very alert and protective of her little family *smile*

It is in my humble opinion that we should not be quick to judge others because we do not know what they are going through….We as women should not criticize other women for deciding not to breastfeed or choosing to have only one child or no children. We should support each other…and be kind *smile*

Mattie showing off her new tutu.

Mattie showing off her new tutu. We all refer to Mattie as “the baby”–she loves to be held, snuggle, and give kisses. She makes a bad day better *smile*

Mattie working it for the camera.

Mattie working it for the camera.

"Is this my good side, Mom/"

“Is this my good side, Mom?”

Mattie know she is cute and has been milking her adorableness since we put the tutu on her.

Mattie knows she is cute and has been milking her adorableness since we put the tutu on her.

Thanks for sitting a spell with me today as we chatted about something that has been bothering me for a long time. It is my hope that we will be more supportive of families–no matter how many children are in them…that we will be understanding of women who have difficult decisions to make about having babies or breastfeeding…or staying single….It is time to stop the judging and start the healing.

P.S. I am super proud of my only child and all the things that she has accomplished. For more on the happenings of Abby, check out her blogs Vintage Inspired Passionista and Sixteen & Successful.

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