Hey, y’all! Welcome to Sweet Sorghum Living–a place to sit a spell with a good, hot cup of coffee and enjoy good conversation about everything from gluten-free snacks to DIY projects. Today on the blog, I wanted to share my fur babies with y’all–my distractions *wink* When people ask me how many children I have, I tell them one child and three fur babies–known as “The Girls”…bless the hubby’s heart…he is the only male in the house!
The hubby and I are parents to an only child. And because of this, we have been asked a million times over the years when we were planning on having another child. Our response has always been the same–“We feel very blessed to have one healthy and happy child.” This, however, is not a satisfactory answer to the majority of those that have interrogated us about the baby topic. Bless, it all started when Abby was a toddler…and she is almost 19 now.
I don’t normally get into the real reasons why Abby is an only child. But let’s just say that my pregnancy was not an easy one…Abby was born about 5 weeks early…and she weighed a whopping 8 lbs and 13 oz. I was miserable and unhealthy the entire time I carried her. She is a miracle…it is a miracle I survived carrying her.
We have all seen Steel Magnolias.
I am not a selfish person–I try very hard not to put my needs above those of my little family’s. Abby needed a mom more than a sibling. And if people want to judge me for making that call–so be it. But don’t call me selfish because I didn’t want to risk my life and health for what others deem “normal” or “traditional”….
The hubby and I agreed that we were happy with one child–this decision was made with lots of prayer–and it was made between God, the hubby, and myself.
It really boils my blood…actually raises my blood sugar…when women judge other women about having babies. Seriously? It is each woman’s choice on how many children she does and does not want to have or adopt. Yes, I have been told way more times that I want to think about–that the hubby and I should consider adoption since having a baby wasn’t an option. I think adoption is fabulous. But we did not want to adopt. We discussed it. We prayed about it. And believe it or not, we were happy being a family of three.
I think that we as women are too quick to snap at other women about their decisions. For instance, I did not breastfeed *gasp…call the firing squad* and once again, I was called “selfish” because I was not doing what they considered best for my baby. No one ever asked me why…nope. I was just accused of being a bad mother because I wasn’t in the breastfeeding club. Did I ever try to explain to the judge and jurors why? No, because they had already made up their minds about me and my choice.
For the record, I have nothing against breastfeeding mothers. I admire and respect them. But at the same time, breastfeeding mothers shouldn’t have anything against moms who use formula + bottles. Love and respect for all *smile*
I hope y’all don’t think I am whining about my life and the well-meaning people that thought I should have had more children. I just wanted to share why my fur babies are so special and to let other women know that it is their decision on how many children to have or not to have…to let other families that do not fit the “norm” or “traditional” family model know that it is okay. Better to be happy than normal *wink*
It is in my humble opinion that we should not be quick to judge others because we do not know what they are going through….We as women should not criticize other women for deciding not to breastfeed or choosing to have only one child or no children. We should support each other…and be kind *smile*
Thanks for sitting a spell with me today as we chatted about something that has been bothering me for a long time. It is my hope that we will be more supportive of families–no matter how many children are in them…that we will be understanding of women who have difficult decisions to make about having babies or breastfeeding…or staying single….It is time to stop the judging and start the healing.